Dear Reader,
As a teenager I disagree greatly with the statement “all teenagers are lazy slobs.”
I know that a few people have had a bad experience with teenagers whether they have stolen or physically hurt you or even damaged some of your property.
When you hear there was a theft or that something was damaged you would automatically think that it was a teenager.
It is not always your fault for thinking that, but it is not our fault either, it’s the media’s fault for making names to describe use with such as yobs or other names that make us seem violent and wild.
Really when an adult says something that is wrong we are never believed more than them because we are younger.
This is very unfair.
I mean teenagers are the future so I think that we should be treated just the same as adults are treated.
We also shouldn’t be blamed for everything that goes wrong.
Another thing people are always calling teenagers lazy and boring.
Teenagers are actually very active and when we sleep in on weekends.
It is because teenagers need more sleep than baby’s, children and adults.
Unfortunately we don’t sleep enough.
I think teenagers would be in a healthier more energetic mood for school if they slept more.
Teenagers would be ready for the lessons ahead and even the whole day.
Now I know you must be thinking “why can’t you guys go to bed earlier and end this whole discussion?”
Have you ever asked a teenager why they go to bed so late? It is because we want to watch a movie or our favourite shows, sometimes we’re getting our thinks ready for the school day ahead.
So teenagers will never go to bed earlier than we our set time.
As you may have noticed I have been defending teenagers this whole time but I think every teenager knows they are not perfect.
I mean everybody has stolen something in their lives also nearly every teenager has been in a fight so if I say that nothing is our fault that would be a lie.
Many things that we shouldn’t do could be prevented if we were able to say what we wanted and why we would want to have those certain rules.
I think that one of the reasons that we are not treated the same as adults is because we can sometimes do silly things and actions.
So I will defend my fellow teenagers but I will not lie and say we are perfect.
For all of you that think that teenagers have an easy simple life you’re wrong.
Even thought we don’t have to pay bills or take care of children we still have a lot of stuff on our plate.
For instance we have homework, relationships and parents.
Let me tell you now there is always something you haven’t done right.
With your parents they will always look for the smallest things wether it’s not putting you plate in the dishwasher to not tiding up your room.
I mean there is always something going wrong so now you know that teenagers have a lot on their plate.
If you have read what I have written so far you will know that teenagers are actually very busy.
They do many different sports such as football, basketball, handball and even cricket.
So for those people that think that teenagers sleep in a lot I have explained that we are doing it for our own health.
While you adults are judging use we are going through one of the most stressful time in our lives, whether it’s to do with tests or friendships, there is always something going on, so for an adult to tell us that we are lazy, is easy.
If they took a minute to think about how hard it was for them when they were teenagers, they wouldn’t say half the things they do say.
In conclusion I think that we as teenagers have been misunderstood until now.
If you the reader really understands what I have written then you will know that our lives are just as complicated as an adults,
Even if teenagers don’t have jobs, pay bills or take care of family’s but they do have relationships, friendships, school and parents.
I know that I have said cover these points at least ten times but I want you to understand that are lives are hard.
So when you see a teenager on the street wearing a hood please don’t assume that they are a gangster or a bad person instead just a normal teenager with clothes that they enjoy wearing.
Thank you from the teenagers of the world.
Zakary Sadou
March 26, 2015 at 6:41 pm
Hello Zak
I am very impressed with how well you have been working. 🙂
You have made some very interesting points and arguments about how teenagers are represented and treated. I think you are using the personal pronoun “I” well in order to align yourself with teenagers.
Targets:
I think you need to go through and punctuate your work. Your sentences are very long.
I think you need to try and persuade more using the language features we have talked about.
#
Tonight or tomorrow when you go over your work I think you should adapt your points so that they include a rhetorical question, the power of three and perhaps some emotive language?
Also, check your spellings please.
Keep up the hard work!
Ms Andrews
April 12, 2015 at 10:57 pm
Hello Zack,
I agree with Ms Andrews – your work has shown some real improvement – but there is still a little way to go.
Targets:
1) You are still 70 words below the minimum word limit
2) Try to avoid starting sentences with conjunctions (also, and, but, because) – most of the time you can simply remove these and the sentence is fine
3) I have seen you punctuate your sentences much more clearly than this in the past – where should your full stops and commas go? Why?
April 15, 2015 at 9:55 pm
Aim to re-draft at least one paragraph in order to achieve the Perfect Paragraph badge
http://achieve.community.edutronic.net/stage-one-writing/perfect-paragraph/
How will you meet this criteria?
May 6, 2015 at 10:35 pm
Hello Zak
You need to re-read some of your sentences, they are still quite long. I would like you to choose a paragraph to work on to achieve your perfect paragraph badge.
To achieve this badge you need to ensure:
◾Spelling of all words, including at least 3 words that are not common-use is perfect
◾Punctuation is perfect, and must include advanced features like quoted speech, complex sentences and semi-colons
◾Sentence structure (syntax) of simple, compound and complex sentences is accurate
◾Tense is controlled and consistent
◾Spelling, punctuation and grammar are all used to deliberate effect in the piece, generating an appropriate tone and style
Ms A
June 2, 2015 at 11:05 pm
You still haven’t quite achieved the badge yet.
Look at this sentence:
‘Really when an adult says something that is wrong we are never believed more than them because we are younger.’ – are your clauses in the correct order? (Think back t our work looking at sentence structures when writing the irony piece about the school.
Where else will you need to add commas in order to make your meaning clearer?
What about those full stops? There are barely any full stops in your final two paragraphs.